Like Coming Home

“‘You do not fear. You do not falter.'”


Velaris: my home away from home. 

One of the techniques that is suggested as a means of getting through labour and contractions is visualization. You think about a happy place, somewhere you feel safe and warm, and imagine that you are there instead of having one of the most painful and terrifying experiences of your life. My husband and I first learned about this technique during our prenatal classes, about a month before our son’s birth. 

What’s ironic, though, is that visualization is a technique that can also be very useful for combatting anxiety and panic attacks…and in fact, it has always been my preferred method of easing my anxiety. I have always been very imaginative, and one of my favourite ways to fall asleep has always been thinking up scenes and creating rich, gorgeous settings for them to take place. Sometimes I would build my own castle and design my own princess wardrobe down to the finest details. Other nights, I would chat with long lost family members. And sometimes, I would visit my favourite fictional locations and spend time with my literary friends. 

So, it felt only natural that when thinking about how best to get through the tumultuous experience of labour, my husband and I would latch onto this idea of creating a world to retreat to. I had convinced my husband to read the A Court of Thorns and Roses series that summer, and I immediately suggested that our special place of refuge be the Night Court

My husband (who is more supportive and protective than even the most powerful High Lord) one-upped me and suggested that we book a special babymoon staycation at a glamorous hotel in Toronto and spend our entire time there building the imaginary house of our dreams in Velaris

I will always remember that weekend in early September 2019. I was terrified of all of the uncertainty and change before us, but my husband calmed all my worries (and his own) by mapping out our dream home. Stained glass windows, and spiralling staircases, and wall-to-wall bookshelves. Wardrobes full of all the chunky knit sweaters and pom-pommed hats your heart could desire. And, of course, a nursery for our little boy, who would be joining us very soon. 

On October 1st 2019, when little Dorian Lee came into the world, I don’t remember how often I fled to our home in Velaris. That day is a blur in so many ways. But, I can say that I retreat to this home now, in moments when I feel particularly worn down or worried, during nights when my legs hurt and my mind won’t shut down and let me sleep. I do find comfort there, and I feel that it is a special place I will always have inside me, a place to feel soothed and at peace. 

Returning to the world of Velaris in the pages of Sarah J. Maas’ newest book A Court of Silver Flames was like going home for me. The Night Court will always be a place I hold so dear. 


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1 Comment

  1. Anonymous says:

    I can’t wait to read A Court of Silver Flames! Just waiting for you to pass it along!

    xoxo Mom

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