“He is a good man. She will be a good woman.” – from “Behind the Mountain” by Evie Wyld (in Reader, I Married Him)
I hope you don’t think I’ve given up on writing about love and romance because of the more literary posts I’ve been writing lately.
No, I’m just as obsessed with and enthusiastic about love as ever, and I still seek to find relevant romantic tips in every book I read. Today, I’m going to share a quote from “Behind the Mountain” by Evie Wyld, one of the many stories in the collection Reader, I Married Him (which I reviewed two days ago and talked about last week), which resonated with me because of its mention of an element that I think is essential in any successful relationship (whether it be with a significant other, a family member or a friend).
~ Goodness ~
Being good is something that society seems to be taking for granted these days. In my humble opinion, far too many people have forgotten that a little kindness, sympathy and empathy can go a long way. What’s worse, in my opinion, than the fact that strangers treat each other nonchalantly, not even raising their heads to give a genuine “Hello!” on the street, is the fact that relationships today seem to be largely devoid of compassion. I’ve ranted about my dislike for Tinder enough here on the blog for you all to have a sense that modern day dating is not my favourite enterprise. I tried it, believe me, and up until I met my incredible fiancé SS, I was pretty convinced that I would never have a decent relationship (if I even had one at all). I basically gave up any hope of True Love, a gorgeous wedding, a devoted marriage and a loyal family. For me, as the hopeless romantic I am and believing in the power of True Love to overcome all obstacles, this was a very sad, pessimistic and depressing time. I just couldn’t make myself believe that love was out there for me, though.
In hindsight, this seems quite ridiculous, but I do feel that I had good reason to be less than enthusiastic about love in my early twenties. It’s just that, every single guy I met turned out to be a royal a**hole! (Hopefully none of them read this little blog, but I find it unlikely, so I feel okay about saying that!) It’s not that they were horrible guys inherently – not at all – I like to think I have better taste than to like a terrible person. They just seemed to be preoccupied with and interested in things entirely different from what I wanted, and while that’s completely fair, they chose to go about revealing this to me in ways that were anything but good.
It is NOT okay to hurt people, and it is definitely NOT okay to be okay with hurting people. What I find nowadays, though, both from my own experience and from stories my friends tell me, is that people feel it is okay to be mean and rude and cruel in relationships. Maybe they don’t actively think about it (I like to believe that most people would choose not to be mean if they realized they were doing it), but nevertheless, most people today are very laissez-faire about treating others, even their significant others, well.
I think, most of all, what this quote from “Behind the Mountain” makes clear is that being in a relationship requires augmenting your standards of behaviour. Being in love goes hand in hand with being a better person, with striving to be the best, most affectionate version of yourself. Without that desire and drive to be a person worthy of the love and respect you receive in return a relationship can easily crumble, fall apart, and irrevocably wound each party. And for what? Why not, instead, let your heart be open and good, and let love flow in?
Happy Sunday Everyone!
Girl with a Green Heart